Tips for buying an Xbox on Craigslist
The following are all real observations that I have actually encountered. I can’t make this up. Honestly, I’m not that creative.
- When meeting your seller, remember that basement sublets can have pretty low ceilings. This isn’t a problem for inhabitants, as you will discover most seating is of the beanbag or gamer chair variety. Still, wear flat shoes and remember to watch your head. You’ll thank yourself later.
- On a coffee table sit twin 42 inch HD televisions. The one on the left is running Skyrim. The one on the right is running a leader board with stats on Skyrim players. A serpentine nest of cables and hubs lead to a rack of every major game system of the last five years. Acknowledge it, but inquire no further.
- Also, you will find a custom-built PC. It is gunmetal black, save for jagged cutouts that reveal a cold blue light. It is liquid cooled. If the need arose, your seller could probably Tokyo Drift it. You can ask about it, but you won’t understand the answer.
- You may be alarmed by the amount of weaponry prominently displayed. Don’t be. The mother-of-pearl handles on the nun-chucks indicate they are for ceremonial purposes only. Besides, everyone knows you never see real ninja weapons until it is too late.
- Your seller is definitely into anime. But saying something like “Oh yeah, I saw Cowboy Bebop and thought it was kind of cool,” will only earn you a derisive sneer.
- Your seller is also definitely into music, judging by his posters. This may provide a window of relatability. See if you can find some common ground between Avenged Sevenfold and Fleetwood Mac, or whatever musical tastes you have. It will be a fun and rewarding mental exercise.
- When it comes to actually making the purchase, give all items a cursory inspection. He won’t believe you know what you’re doing, but it’s good to make the effort. Pro-tip: check to see if the controllers work. I did not do this.
- He mentions he’s training to be an Ultimate Fighter. You have no comeback.
- Your item was advertised at $150 but you had to take $160 out of the ATM. More than likely, your seller will say he can’t break a $20 bill. This may be true as most of his income is from internet poker. He offers to throw in some games, and other stuff lying around his apartment to “make it up to you.” Grab whatever you can and get the hell out.
Notes
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